Monday, May 18, 2009


I had a very interesting discussion this afternoon and I discovered that I have certain peculiarities about myself. I realized that  I have the personality of a performing artist and since I am no longer pursuing that as a career, my personality is somewhat strange for non-artists. This was new to me and the person that brought this to my attention had previously worked with some people in the performing arts world. I had never thought that there was a “dancer’s personality” or a “musician’s personality”…I thought that certain people could be penned as actors( i.e. obnoxiously loud and boisterous), but it never occurred to me that most people that fell in to the arts had certain characteristics. Therefore, I realize how very strange I must appear to people who are not dancers. The sense of discipline I have may lead people to think that I am obsessed with my goals, whereas I am just overly disciplined. My efforts to be overly creative, may be perceived as overly random or weird, when in fact, I’m just trying to be unique and original. I never realized that until today. It was kind of an “aha” moment. I was encouraged to make friends with equals, not people with nothing in common with me. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to people. So with that in mind, I need to find my equals, and most have fell flat on their asses.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

(Almost) Half-Way Mark

So, it is almost half way through the 2009 and I have been somewhat faithful to my new year’s goals. 

  • I did get a car, first thing this year, and that was a headache.  Next week, I will try that endeavor again.
  • I haven’t volunteered yet. No car.
  • Still no job. More applications, still no job.
  • In terms of friendships, I’m learning that simply being the friend you want to have leads to you being viewed as weird and annoying.
  • I’m beginning to hate Grad School, but I really have no choice but to play nice.
  • I know that I am not happy with my church community, but I cannot let one bozo make me turn my back on a handful of great people.

So far so good! I have stuck to the off/on schedule of working out and healthy stuff, but some weeks I walk so much that I think doing anymore exercise would make me loose weight. I think this year is still fresh and there is plenty promise still left in it.

I haven’t kept upped the blog as I would have liked, but that is part of the half-assed nature of being an overworked student. I noticed that I have become addicted to youtube and have been increasing my subscriptions daily. I have also started tweeting, but I still don’t quite get it.  I think all these new communication methods are great, it just a pain to keep them all in sync( and if you happen to be as unpopular as me, you don’t really see the point either). I want to add video to my blog, but i don’t have a camera anymore( at least one that does video),I’m bummed about that.

One last thing, before I retire to more bsing for the night: I get the impression that I am not particularly liked. I think I make people sick. I notice that when I’m around, it’s like I am a pain in the rectum….I’ll take a picture to capture this next time.