Sunday, July 5, 2009

Are you ****** me?

I’ve realized in my 22 short years on this place we call earth, I have grown a several hate trees in my heart. I have pruned them, uprooted some, but for the most part some are there and they are ready to start producing some ripe fruit. The first one is young and produces fruit that hates your bullsh*t relationship. Yes, it sounds like a bitter single person, but that tree is a distant cousin of the “ I don’t give a  f**k tree”. The “H.Y.B.R.” tree drops fruit every time you tell me about a relationship I could care less about. It’s usually the pretentious relationship that is way too far advanced for the time the couple has know each other. This relationship is usually characterized by some bullsh*t marriage proposal that consists of none or very little serious planning and no wedding rings. These people are the ones I just can’t stand. I just pretend to not vomit a little in my mouth and hide the fact that I lost all respect for them as individuals. That tree isn’t as bad as the “I.D.G.F” tree. This one is seriously out of control.  The “I dont’ give a f**k” tree has grown in strong and produces fruit that does exactly what it says, NOT GIVING A F**K! Symptoms of this parasitic tree consists of telling seemingly innocent people to go screw themsleves, eat their fecal waste, and ignoring people of significance. The hallmark of this tree is when people give you some encouragement, advice, constructive criticism or say anything in general to  you and you respond, “You’re full of shit”, “Eat my balls”, “Suck my dick”, Fuck you” or something of full of expletives.

OHH….the best one is the “ I can’t stand anyone that isn’t a minority” tree….this little beast is poisonous and makes me completely apathetic to anyone that isn’t like me in some way, shape or form.

I’m about to trim these trees, not uproot them, because they are useful sometimes. The one that seems to grow up quickly is the minority one…I like that one…although it gets me in trouble.