So today, yet again, I am rejected for another job. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I am a sure empath....and every time I perform an interview and get rejected, I take it personally. In fact, I get very upset, because I feel that I am in some way owed an explanation. I hate when my resume is reviewed and discussed and I am qualified for a job,but you find fault with some part of my life. I hate the fact that being a student automatically disqualifies me for a job. I hate that people don't want me to even take night classes because it is threatening. I hate that interviewers express interest in you, yet never ask why things appear different on paper than in reality. If I have short employment histories , consider asking me why I haven't worked consistently....maybe this is due to illness, death in a family, becoming a caretaker( sick parent, new child, etc). Maybe why I haven't been employed for nine months is due to the fact that I keep dealing with bull like not asking relevant questions on an interview.
The best part is the discrimination I face by looking extremely young. People automatically think I'm under 18, when I'm in my early 20's and sometimes even tell me that I'm not old enough to apply. Some think I'm not qualified enough to perform some dipshit job....to be brutally honest, we have a lack of adequate leadership in this country and some of the people that are the judges of others characters are socially irresponsible and ethically bankrupt. Not all...keyword was "some".
I guess my biggest problem is that I love learning. I love being in a classroom( or in the real world) learning. Some people may feel unconsciously uncomfortable with others that continuously learn. In fact, I have been repeatedly warned by people who have attended college and beyond that you develop some sort of "imposter's syndrome". That is, you have an education which everyone is not entitled to, so you tend to loose the common ground you had with some before you went to college. Some people feel that you think you are better than them, when in fact you just want to be one of the everyday people. I find it extremely hard to be conscious and make new friends. I usually find myself either being judged as "snobby" or " uppity", when in fact I'm just being myself or stating a truth. I find it totally hard to raise consciousness on certain issues when people attack me for being knowledgeable about something. I feel that some people equate knowledge with advocacy or even embodiment. Just because I know about something doesn't make me the embodiment of it. For example, if I like something about Buddhism and know a little about it, doesn't make me a Buddhist. Neither does knowing a little about Wicca or ancient Celtic religion. Just because I can play devil's advocate, doesn't make me the devil. Let's not forget that some cultures are not so pro-education either. I remember a young grad student telling me that her fiance's parents were not understanding of her continuing her education in grad school. Some people still equate education with the upper class. Some people do it for self-fulfillment, not just a paycheck. I guess some people are threaten by knowledgeable individuals. Didn't the Nazi's kill the academic community first? Didn't they burn all the books that would contradict their plans?
So, in relation to my employment search, I will continue to be discriminated against on a slew of biases and prejudices. I just wish they were based on more substantial information, not stupidity that can discussed to reveal an underlying reality.
*Peace
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